


Sex Hair and Mockingbirds

by sklynn46



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Music, Tags May Change, i might make a playlist eventually, nontraditional college student!Harper, psych degree, tags will be added as story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:13:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sklynn46/pseuds/sklynn46
Summary: OFC Harper is working her way through school when two FBI agents turn up at her bar.





	1. Sex Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first Criminal Minds fic so be gentle. I just can't seem to get Reid out of my head. This fic is supposed to read more like a reader insert, but I've always had issues with reading Y/N every other sentence. Leave me some kudos and comments to let me know what you think! 
> 
> Shout out to the best beta and sister ever! Nik_shay_tashegame

Harper was bringing up a new case of domestics when Christina _ugh I hate that name, just call me T_  called over to her. "Hey, can you take care of those two? I gotta cash out my drawer." Harper looked over to find two attractive men sitting towards the end of the bar. She patted T twice on the shoulder in confirmation as she strolled over. As she approached she caught the tail end of their conversation.

"Come on, pretty boy. You have to relax every once in a while. Give that massive brain of your's a break." The toothpaste commercial model seemed to be trying to convince the one with wild hair to stay. If it weren't for Perfect Teeth wearing a wedding band, and Mr. Sex Hair not, she would have assumed they were here on a date. There was no way either one of them was single. She kind of hoped Mr. Sex Hair was though.

"This isn't exactly my idea of relaxing. Do you know how many germs are on this bar-"

Harper stepped up smoothly, "Not as many as you would think. T over there is getting ready to clock out, so I guarantee it's been disinfected. She's a bit of a germaphobe."

Both men turned towards her with welcoming smiles. However, Perfect Teeth seemed to be preparing himself for an eyeroll.

"Actually, it's called mysophobia not germophobia," Mr. Sex Hair seemed to like talking with his hands, " it's a common misconception." Perfect Teeth's eyeroll was entirely good natured, and Harper could tell these guys were going to be her favorites of the night.

Too many times had people come in here to cause trouble, but these guys seemed to just want a chill vibe to relax after work. She smiled as she took their orders and walked off to get their drinks. If she swung her hips a little more hoping Mr. Sex Hair was watching, well who would know but her?

\-------------

As early evening wore on into night, Harper found herself lingering in conversation with her two new favorites. She learned that they were profilers for the FBI. She could tell Perfect Teeth was starting to pick up on her body language, but Mr. Sex Hair seemed to be a little oblivious. He was smart, and extremely attractive, surely there were plenty of times people flirted with him. Hopefully he would realize it before he left.

"Reid, she's into you. You need to get her number." Harper overheard Perfect Teeth as she was mixing a cocktail for a girl that looked a bit younger than her i.d. She was walking passed them to deliver the fruity drink when she heard Mr. Sex Hair reply.

"I don't know, Morgan. She's probably flirting with you." He said it with a light-hearted chuckled but the way he looked down into his drink spoke volumes about his self-confidence. Harper decide to go with a bit more of a blunt approach.

She stepped up to their end of the bar and settled in just a way to show off the girls, but not so much as to scare the shy FBI agent away. "Nope, pretty sure I was talking to you handsome." His eyes shot up to hers, wide with shock, confusion, and a little excitement. She stuck her hand out across the bar, "Harper. Nice to meet you."

Perfect Teeth took your hand in his, "I'm Derek Morgan, and this is Spencer Reid," She turned towards Mr. Sex Hair, "Oh, he doesn't sha-"

Spencer tentatively took your hand, "Nice to meet you too." Harper didn't miss how Derek's eyebrows shot upward at the interaction. Before she had a chance to ask about it, a group of loud, overdressed women started yelling down the bar for shots.

"I'll be right back." Her hand reluctantly left Spencer's, and this time he was definitely watching as she walked away.

\-------------

After their introductions the bar started filling up quick. Harper hoped Derek and Spencer would stay until she could talk to them again. Between orders and restocking the bar she slid Spencer a napkin with her number scrawled across it. They had gotten here early in the evening, so Harper figured it was unlikely that they would stay until closing.

As she was walking over to check on them again she paused as she heard Derek say, "Kid, you better call her."

Spencer just shrugged and looked down at the napkin. "I don't know, Morgan, she's way out of my league. I'm probably not her type." There was that confidence thing again. She put on her best imma-flirt-the-dick-off-of-you smile and slid across from where Spencer was staring at his hands.

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure tall, handsome, and smart are exactly my type." Spencer's head snapped up to look at Harper. While Derek's smile was beautiful, the look that lit up Spencer's face was inexplicable. She giggled at his excitement, feeling a swarm of butterflies land in her own stomach.

As she walked away to retrieve their next round she heard Derek clap him on the shoulder. "Pretty boy, I am going to personally make sure you call her."


	2. Time is Relative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper and Spencer go on a date. Will Harper's past be too much for Dr. Reid to handle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pssssssst hey!  
> So remember that this is supposed to read like a reader insert.  
> Also the ages are somewhat flexible in this fic. I'm putting Spencer about 31 (which means around season 9) and Harper is around 28.  
> Also idk how accurate I was with Georgetown university. Don't shoot me.  
> Ok I think that's it... ENJOY
> 
> ps. beta'd by the always classy, sassy, and a bit smart-assy nik_shay_tashegame

Harper had already turned off the music. She announced last call about 15 minutes ago, and was cleaning up while waiting for a few stragglers to finish their drinks. She couldn't seem to keep her mind from wandering to the handsome agent that had left about 4 hours and 17 minutes ago. Not that she was counting or anything.

Harper was kicking herself for not getting his number. A guy that shy would probably talk himself out of calling. She resigned herself to just hoping that Spencer would come in again. Maybe she could get his number from Derek if he stopped in. She took her frustration out on the floor and mopped a little more vigorously.

\-----------------

As Harper was turning off the lights, she heard the front door open again. "Sorry guys, we're closing up for the night," she called out as she was coming around the corner.

"Actually, I was hoping you had the closing shift." Spencer stood by the door as he fiddled with the hem of his waistcoat and tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

Harper grinned, "Well, this is definitely better than a vague text that implies screwing like rabbits." Spencer chuckled at her blunt nature.

"I know it's late, or rather early depending on how you perceive it. It's actually kind of interesting how people comprehend time based on their own sleep schedule. For some one who works a typical nine to five almost 4 AM would be considered late, whereas some one who works a steady night shift would consider it early." Harper's grin grew as she realized that, unless she stopped him, Spencer was going to keep right on rambling.

"Spencer," she cut him off. He chewed the inside of his lip. The look on his face said he was internally berating himself for talking so much. "Do you think we could continue this conversation over an early breakfast, or a very late midnight snack depending on your internal time clock?"

"I would like that very much," his smile must have been a thousand watts as he reached for the door, "I'll wait outside while you lock up."

\---------------------

Harper moved as fast as she could to get the nightly deposit in the safe, and the neon signs turned off. She couldn't believe she had a date with a very intelligent, very attractive FBI agent. Sure, they had only just met, but Harper couldn't help having a great feeling about Spencer.

She opened the front door to find Spencer leaning against the brick wall. "So," Harper glanced over with a quick smile as she locked the door, "do you have any place in mind?"

They ended up at a 24-hour diner. Harper was surprised that Spencer would even step foot in here if he had a thing about germs. She asked him just that as they say down in a booth with patched vinyl and more than a few coffee stains.

"This might sound a little weird, but I don't normally do things like this. I mean I don't normally show up at someone's place of work and ask them to breakfast at 3 A.M., much less automatically program the number they gave me as soon as I get home," he looked up to see Harper biting her lip and trying not to laugh. He shook his head with a grin, "What I mean is, spontaneity isn't really my thing. Also, I called Morgan and asked about possible places to eat while you were locking up. He assured me it was safe."

Harper and Spencer were both still chuckling when the waitress put menus on the table.

\-----------------------

"So," Harper paused her fork as she looked curiously across the table, "how does a boy genius end up a profiler for the FBI?" Harper groaned internally. He was probably going to ask a similar question in return. His story was one of hope and using one of his greatest assets to help people and put away bad guys. Then it came. The question.

"So, What do you do?"

"Well, right now I'm still in school trying to get my masters in psychology. Mostly focusing on children." She felt weird saying it. She and Spencer couldn't be that far apart in age, but he graduated with multiple degrees almost ten years ago. Oh well, she thought, it's always best to be upfront about this.

Harper took a deep breath. "It's kind of a long story."

\------------------------

They sat there for what felt like hours as Harper told her tale. Spencer reached across the table to squeeze her hand when she talked about her mother dying when she was five. Her voice wavered, but she kept on. When she recounted the horrors that became her home life as her father began to unravel she saw a protective glint in Spencer's eyes. Seeing that he cared even after knowing her for barely an evening gave her the courage to continue.

"So, when I turned 18 I ran. I worked part-time, night shift, shit scraping jobs to build up enough money to go to school with minimal debt. I took my gen-eds online as I went. It's taken me a while, but next spring I'll graduate with a master's in child psychology and a minor in music theory."

The small smile on Spencer's face told her that she hadn't scared him away. Yet.

"Why music theory? I understand child psychology and helping children with situations like yours, but how does music theory fit in?"

Harper smiled. "Music was always my escape. My happy place. It helped that Georgetown was giving me a scholarship so long as I played in their pep band and jazz ensembles. I love it, but I haven't exactly made good money at it yet. Figured I might as well get a practical degree in something I am just as passionate about."

\---------------------------

"Yet?" Spencer questioned as he put enough cash to more than cover the meal and tip. Harper liked people who tipped well and treated servers with respect. He walked a little closer as they made their way back to the bar to retrieve her car.

"Yeah," Harper hesitated. A little worried about what Spencer might think. Well, she has decided honesty was best. "I actually don't bartend often. I was just covering a shift tonight. We have live music Wednesday to Sunday. Most nights are like lounge music, but Saturdays we put on a pretty big show," Harper's eyes glowed with excitement. Spencer could practically feel her love of music coming off of her like waves. Harper continued, "We switch Saturday's theme every week."

"What kinds of themes are there?" Spencer had heard a few things about the theme nights, but Harper's excitement was infectious. He wanted to keep her talking about it for as long as he could.

"Oh, you know, like different decades. Sometimes we even just go with movie or tv show themes. Once every other month we even have a night where people can put in requests."

Spencer paused as they reached her car. He didn't want this night - morning?- to end. "What do you play?"

Harper looked up from unlocking her door, "Oh, I don't. I sing."


	3. Arizona & Hollywood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is away on a tough case, and realizes he hasn't asked for a second date with Harper yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I finally figured out why this wasn't flowing right! I needed to rework the order of events in this chapter. I have been so busy guys. I'm not even joking. My wedding is 8 days away and my anxiety is through the roof right now. I'm not nervous about how the rest of my life will go or anything, there's just too many people asking me the same question 20 times. I love you guys! Let me know what you think! <3
> 
> P.s. This chapter is unbeta'd let me know if there are any mistakes or auto-corrects that need fixed.

     "For someone who barely got any sleep last night, you sure do seem to be in a good mood." Morgan, of course, had to point out Spencer's cheery disposition on the flight home. He hadn't bothered to correct anyone's grammar or small inaccuracies. Spencer just shrugged and turned back to his book.

     Morgan turned to J.J. with raised eyebrows.

     "Leave him alone Derek, after what we've seen this week anything to put you in a good mood is a blessing."

\---------------------------

     It had been a tough case. One's involving kids were always the hardest. Spencer had realized almost too late that Hotch and Morgan were on their way to the wrong location. This unsub was good at covering his tracks, but Spencer figured it out at the last minute. He caught Prentis at the door and gave her directions to what they thought was just the dump site. They caught him there just before he could finish off another young girl.

     The little girl had been so terrified that she thought Spencer was going to hurt her, too. Prentis calmed the girl down, but for some reason the fear in her eyes stuck with him. She had been scared of him. Even if it had been only for a moment, after so much trauma it was logical to still be scared, but logic couldn't erase the sound of her begging him not to hurt her.

     The one shining moment in the last 12 hours was his call to Harper. Sure, it had only been one date, but her voice was soothing and he really wanted to go on a second.

\---------------------------------

     Harper had just walked in the door after her usual Saturday night show. The rich red lipstick was starting to smear, and the big fake lashes were making it harder to keep her drooping eyelids open. Sure Hollywood night had a great set list of multiple decades and fun tunes, but the Marilyn get-up was a bit exhausting.

     She was just beginning to coax the thick lashes off when her phone began shrieking an incoming call.

     "Ah shit! Fucking OW!" The last half of the false lash ripped off all at once when she had startled in surprise. Harper scrambled for her phone, and slid her finger across the screen. "Spencer. Hi!"

     "Hello, Harper," he sounded tired, but happy to hear her voice. "Sorry for calling so late, I hope I didn't wake you."

     "Oh, don't worry about it. I actually just got in." Harper was glad to hear from him. It had been over a week since their first impromptu date, and she was hoping she hadn't done something to scare him off.

     "That's right, it is Saturday. What was the theme this week?"

     Harper paused. She still wasn't sure what Spencer thought of her job, but he seemed like a supportive and encouraging person. "It was a Hollywood. So, ya know, outlandish costumes and set design," if Harper didn't get to the point now she knew she was going to end up rambling about nonsense for five minutes. She took a deep breath, "I got to be Marilyn."

     There was a pause in the other end of the line.

     "So, Spencer, why are you up so late?"

     "We are out in Arizona on a case, so really it's not so late if you consider the time difference. It's around 12 here, but I just got in too."

     Harper suspected that he was actually just having trouble sleeping, but she wasn't going to bring it up just yet. If he wanted to talk about it he would in his own time.

     "Actually, I was calling because I haven't spoken to you in a week." Spencer's nervous laugh sounded tinny through the phone speaker. He cleared his throat, "I've heard that standard protocol is to wait three days, but we got wrapped up in this case. I never understood the three day thing. Why three?"

     Harper knew that unless she stopped him he could rattle on all night. "Spencer. Are you trying to ask me for a second date?"

     "Yes, and it seems that I'm doing a poor job of it, too."

     "No, you aren't," Harper chuckled, "Call me when you're back in town. Goodnight, Spencer."

     "Goodnight, Harper."

     Harper's cat wound around her ankles before jumping onto the bathroom counter. She scratched under his chin. "Looks like momma's got another date. You'll like him, I promise."


End file.
